April 15, 2012


Sometimes I wish I could live a much simpler life; one full of greens, beautiful flowers, and endless blue skies with nights completely and utterly brimming full of stars. Can't you just feel the calm blissful breeze blowing through your hair? The smile that just won't quit, knowing that you have everything you'll need and you're happy with all that you have. Living for the sweet simple pleasures in life, being delighted by your day-to-day. To live a life that doesn't stress, that doesn't require me to give more than I take, a life that is pleasantly pleasant.

But then reality slaps me in the face and kicks me in the balls.

That's not me at all. I commend, applaud and even praise those that can have lives like that, hell, I wish I could be happy with all that as well, but that's simply not me. I am a dreamer, a hardcore dreamer who have plans that are overwhelmingly large, probably not realistic in any sense, but are mine to have nonetheless. I'm the kind of girl who has been wishing for city living ever since she could make wishes. I'm loud, I'm obnoxious, I'm in-your-face, I'm probably the girl that you love to hate and hate to love. I like attention but I need anonymity, I like chatter as well as utter silence, I am optimistic yet extremely pessimistic; I need the ups and downs of life in order to feel alright. Boredom comes quickly to my brain that over-thinks 1000 thoughts/second and without a remedy, it feels suffocating. I am an on-the-go, see-you-never, so-stressed-I-just-want-to-cry and don't-talk-to-me-before-coffee sort of a gal, never really sure if what I want is actually what I want or what I should want. I love the energy, the vivacity, the feeling of city life from the bright lights to the tall skyscrapers to the sea of faces that you pass by.

But a simplistic life sounds so right, so okay, like such a great alternative to one full of late nights, eye bags, and price tags. I guess there are certain give-and-takes in each and every choice we make, whether it's a small gesture to a life-changing monumental decision, our lives are the consequences of our subsequent actions and decisions and if we can live with the choices we have made.

In Ke$ha's eloquent words, "we r who we r" and there ain't nothing wrong with that either.


Laureen said...

Loving the polaroïds pics.

Unknown said...

I love reading this post, I felt that I was reading a story.
And I think I understand you, I also sometime wish I could live a more simple and kind of hippie life, but I also love the craziness a city can give you.


Bree said...

I agree, we are who we are :)


Brittney said...

I'm constantly torn between the 2 as well. I'm livin' in the city now, but am a country girl at heart. I love nature and silence too much. But then, heck, I love clubbin' as well. ;)

I say (as cliche as it sounds), follow your dreams. If they take you to the city, it's where you should be. ;)